Today, 30th of November 2021 was one of those days. I woke up hungry (as always. I need God to save me from this voracious appetite that has been plaguing me. I don’t have the facilities to maintain this thing abeg) and with no money. There’s foodstuff but the gas cylinder decided to be silly.

Anyhoo, I was hungry and I couldn’t read but food wasn’t coming from anywhere so I forced myself to read and I kept at it until evening. Evening was for prayer meeting but for some weird reason, I didn’t feel like going. Again, I forced myself to go although I was a bit late. Then I sat down and poured my heart to my father through worship (I wasn’t even asking for money or food. Lol.)

After prayer meeting, someone got food for me and my sugar mummy but there was still no change for cab so we had to walk. I was so tired from walking to the cafeteria which was quite far from where we had the prayer meeting and because I hadn’t eaten since morning, I felt worse. My shoulders were aching. My legs were aching and my stomach was biting me but I kept walking.

I kept walking until I literally fell to the ground because I just couldn’t anymore. While I was sitting on the side walk (adjacent Queens hall), I heard someone say “pele my dear” and I could tell he was laughing. Then I began to laugh at myself too. I thought the guy was just going to leave but he stopped walking and said “where are you headed?” I said “Waters” and he said “ah. O jina (it’s far) should I give you tee-fare?” I can’t remember if I responded but he gave us money and kept going. I know I said thank you but I remember asking Jemima if we thanked him well enough.

I’d tell you about that one time that we had our cell meeting at Ice n Cream too. Some guy came to join us. He introduced himself as Demola. He kept commenting on how he liked our playfulness and banter. He was having a drink “fandango” and he said he wanted us, about eight of us to have the drink too. So dipped his hand in pocket and brought out 2k like he had positioned the money there for us. We bought the drinks (fandango is a terrible drink by the way). Demola said he was a 100 level law student in UI. We took his contact and promised to reach out to him and get him to join our fellowship but he’s been unreachable since then.

I remember that he said he didn’t know where he lived. That’s weird. How will you not know where you live? I remember the story he told us about his Dad abandoning his mother to study law abroad and him meeting his father in a courtroom. I remember him saying he came out that day to buy wine. I remember mentioning that Demola was probably an angel.

My point is: God sees it all. The tears. The hurt. The pain. The loneliness. The hunger. The fatigue. The brokenness. He sees it all and he doesn’t just see, he hears and he cares. If you’d take just a minute to look past the unpleasant circumstance, you’d see his love. You’d literally feel how much he cares for you if you allow your heart.

It could be through something as random as a stranger giving you money or buying you a funny tasting orange drink. But the point is not the thing. It’s the thought. The thought that God is intentional about you enough to put a smile on your face in the most random way. The point is knowing that your ordeals are not hidden from God. The point is that his goodness is not tied to how palatable your circumstance is. The point is God making an effort to reassure you. The point is God saying “I am always with you”. See, God is always good. In good times, he’s good. In bad times, he’s good. In hungry times, he’s good. In broke times, he’s good. In tough times, he’s good. Regardless, he’s good.

I hope this is enough encouragement for you to hang in there. Lol. I’m not always encouraged. Sometimes, I’m tired of faith-ing my way through life but even in my tiredness, I know. I am convinced beyond doubt that God loves me to smitherens. He loves me so much that I have to ask him to help me understand just how much.

I’m saying all this to say: trust God and don’t ever forget that he is Jireh; your provision and Ebenezer; your helper. Just stay and never stop believing. It gets better; I promise.

Lol. Before I leave, I’d say this: faith is not I must get all I want because I believe. Faith is even if I don’t get it, I trust God. Faith is: I’m hungry and God provided food. Faith is also I needed teefare but nothing came so I ended up trekking. Faith is an exercise and we all know that exercise is anything but fun but is it beneficial? Oh yes. Highly beneficial. It’s the same with faith. Faith has a direct relationship with growth. God is not a sugar daddy, he’s not there to indulge your cravings. He’s committed to seeing you become who he has made you to be; like himself. Faith is understanding that even when God didn’t do it; God did it. Faith is waiting. Faith is trusting, regardless. When we see it; we thank God. When we don’t see it; we thank God because God is always good. This is faith.

Even if you forget every other thing I wrote here, don’t ever forget that everything works for your good because you love God and you’ve been called according to his purpose. Cheers to the faith life.