Dusts cobwebs

I know I haven’t posted here in a while and I’m sorry. I started the month with exams I’d rather not write but what choice do I have? These excellent grades won’t make themselves yeah. I fell sick in between my exams but I still killed them because heyyyy, it’s me. Then this nonsense weather came and I fell sick again. Now, I just want to eat and watch movies all day. I’m not motivated to do anything. The only thing I want to do is what God did on the 7th day.

This is officially my last post for the year. I hope you love it. Actually, you must love it.

I sent Yemi a couple of long voice notes to tell her how my departmental dinner went. She got to the part where I mentioned God and said “It’s the way I knew God was still going to find his way into this gist (inserts emojis). I was patiently waiting for that part”. Lol. I’m so in love with God.

Aside: I love fiercely although not loudly. If I love you, you’d know. You also won’t have to tell people that I love you because they too will know. End of Aside.

On the Cowrywise ambassadors community, we were asked how long we would live for if all our sources of income suddenly closed up. The first response that came to my head was “as long as God wants me to because he’d always provide”. I’d admit that God has succeeded in dominating my thoughts. Congratulations to us.

Now, as much as I’m a Jesus baby, I’m more free spirited and open minded than most. I’ve noticed that people are so used to judgemental and conservative Christians that Christians like me, surprise them. We don’t look like we pray because we wear shorts. Lol. They don’t see how God is the one holding our life together because we wear makeup.

You know what else I’ve noticed? People don’t know what Christianity is. All they know of Christianity is gotten from the lifestyle and mannerisms of the Christians around them. They use the behavior of about a dozen of people to judge the billions of people practicing the same religion.

And this isn’t limited to Christianity.

A lot of people hate feminism and criticize other feminists because they’ve had unpleasant experiences with some feminists.

A lot of people hate men/women and criticize other people of the same gender because of the unpleasant experiences they’ve had with some of them.

The more I look, the more it seems like generalizing and stereotyping is a natural human trait.

People give up on Christianity and going to church because some Christians or church did them bad. Imperfect people looking for perfect institutions in a world run by imperfect people. What a joke.

See, as long as a human being is involved, perish any hope of perfection that you have. Take that hope and smash it against the wall.

Wednesday (15|12|2021) was my departmental dinner yeah. I initially didn’t want to go because I’m a stay at home person but other factors were involved:

• I was going to be inagurated as the new PRO.

• My mum and sister had given me money for hair and makeup.

• I knew I had to go out to meet and interact with people.

Eventually, the inauguration didn’t happen but the dinner was amazing (most likely the best I’ve had in UI so far).

Village people played wicked pranks on me that day but my God is wickeder than them. Firstly, I hated the press on nails I bought. Secondly, both my phone and powerbank ran out of battery. Thirdly, I forgot my ticket at home. Buttttttttt, my make up was beautiful and my little black dress was fire. If I got a dollar for every compliment I received that night, I won’t be writing this blogpost today. I’d be in Bora Bora Island vacationing stress out of my system.

When I got to the venue, the party hadn’t started. Punctuality is nonexistent in an average Nigerian’s dictionary. Anyhoo, I couldn’t go back home so I waited for the party to start. I was busy minding my business when this guy came to sit beside me. I looked at him and thought “oh! This guy looks like beer.”

He introduced himself and we got talking. In the middle of our long conversation, he said he liked me. I can’t remember how many times he mentioned it but he made it very clear. He talked a lot which was fine because I was learning, especially from his political experiences.

I left him when the dinner started because I was there for my dinner party and not beer. At the party, I was impatiently waiting for food when I got a message from him. He said he waited to talk to me again and drop me home. I told him I was going to leave the party by 8pm. But I wasn’t going to leave without eating and I definitely wasn’t going to leave with him. I told him I wasn’t ready to leave yet so he asked me to see him to his car. I saw him to his car, declined his attempt to hug me and went my way.

This same Uncle Beer that said I was brilliant tried to seduce me with lame words and tricks. And it just made me wonder: he thinks I’m brilliant yet he expects his lame tricks to work on me? He doesn’t think I’m that brilliant or he just dey try gas me up with “you’re brilliant”? I’ve sha cleared him. No time for disrespect.

My food came shortly after he left and I left the party shortly after I ate because why not? I was at the party alone and the MC wasn’t MCing anymore.

Aside: my brain does this thing where it links information together. When it gets like this, I usually have to take time to process the information because it gets overwhelming. It also links my new experiences to something I’ve heard, seen or experienced before. There’s also the part where I narrate what’s happening to myself in my head. It’s just like writing a blogpost in my head. Writing is one of the ways I process information. So when I can’t write, I tell myself the story in my head. End of Aside.

Everything that was happening that night was getting linked to other things and my head was brimming with information. So I began to gist with the Holy Spirit (this is also one of the ways I process information). My guy and I were still gisting when I got to Faculty of Arts. Then he asked me to sit. I didn’t want to. I wanted to go home because it was getting late. But he insisted so I sat. Then he began to explain the information in my head to me.

See, there are two sides to everything in life. It’s the same with putting yourself out there. If you go out there in the world, you’ll meet great people and get opportunities. You’d also meet people that’d make you question humanity and experience funny situations. A lot of us Christians believe in staying amongst fellow Christians. We’re even scared to be friends with unbelievers or “unserious Christians”. So we’re all going to church to shine our light when we should be shining it in the world. We’re in the church competing with each other when there’s love to be shown to the world.

I saw a video of Johnny Drille talking about how he felt convicted to use his gift outside the church. He was the choir director in his father’s church for seven years. A lot of people would think him “less Christian” because he’s not a gospel singer. But who says you can’t shine God’s light in the world through secular music? He is not just the God of Christians. He’s the God of heaven and earth.

Heyyys, don’t be a light amongst your fellow believers. Go out into the world and shine. Don’t be religious.

It’s not even entirely about converting people. Just shine and let the Holy Spirit take it from there. In the long run, it’s about making an impact. It’s about love. Plant love in the hearts of people with your light. Make effort to understand how they see and help them understand how you see. Give. Share. Accept and most importantly love.

I stood up when my guy asked me to resume walking home. Then I met Rotimi again. Rotimi sat at my table at the dinner. He didn’t speak to me until I offered him the chin chin on our table. He said he didn’t want to pass his boundary ‘cause I looked like a masters student that came to observe undergraduates dinner. He said “full spec, Louis Vuitton, iPhone. I didn’t want to pass my boundary”. Feel free bruv. I’m a sweetheart and all these things you see, fake life ni gbogbo e. Don’t be deceived.

I had just passed Queens hall when a car parked in front of me. I moved closer to the car (audacity) and saw two guys. I’d call the driver stud and the other guy, bad news. (Heyyyy, don’t hate me. That’s what he called himself). This is how it went.

Bad news: get in, we’ll take you wherever you’re going.

Me: I looked intently at their faces and no alarm went off in my Spirit so I hopped in their maserati. (It’s how confident I am in my ability to sense things for me. Again, the audacity.)

Bad news: what’s your name?

Me: Ayanfe; Ayanfeoluwa.

(I really can not write out every single thing that was said because Bad news joked a lot and I can’t remember everything.)

Bad news: where are you headed?

Me: Waters

When they said they’d take me anywhere I wanted to go, It didn’t occur to them that I might be going outside school. Stud was more familiar with Ibadan but Bad news didn’t know anywhere. They said they were going to drop me at my house after they see a friend of theirs at Indy.

Me: I don’t want to be late and it’s getting dark already.

Bad news (spokesperson): ah. Don’t worry. We’d drop you right in front of your house. (They didn’t keep this promise though because I didn’t agree to do shina).

We kept gisting about random things until I realized that they had no friend at Indy and they came to UI to scout for babes. Imagine. They were looking for babes. They now carried me. Iyalaya bad market. Sorry guys. I really enjoyed gisting with them though. At some point Bad news said he was enjoying his night and I thought: of course, I’m great company.

They were really upfront about what they wanted, just sex. I was really upfront about my standards. I don’t fornicate.

I’ve also noticed that we don’t like to talk about sex. By we, I mean Christians. We’re even scared to ask questions about it. A lot of Christians feel dirty for feeling physical attraction or feeling sexually aroused. Why feel dirty about something organic? Do you even know you can talk to the Holy Spirit about your sexual urges and ask him to help you? He wants to know how much you’re physically attracted to that person and help you not to fall into fornication.

We undermine the power of attraction and lust but we magnify our ability to withstand temptation. You think you’re disciplined. Lol. Sorry. Ask David.

More conversation between Bad news, Stud and I:

Bad news: so Ayanfe, what kind of guys do you like? Good guys or bad guys?

Me: good guys of course.

Bad news: I’m not a good guy. In fact, I’m bad news. I’m the kind that’d make you have carry overs.

Me: amazing. I must say that I really admire your honesty.

Bad news: Ayanfe, are you religious?

Me: no but I’m spiritual.

Bad news: so you don’t fornicate?

Me: yes, I don’t do “bad things”.

Stud: how do you satisfy your sexual urges?

Me: I pray in tongues (this is a joke by the way).

Stud: that your kskeosbsnakavavsbwk.

Me: well, it works for me.

Bad news: I’m looking for someone who’s willing to explore and try new things with me. I don’t want to call someone and she’d say she’s at church.

Me: or at prayer meeting.

Bad news: yes.

Me: I get it. That someone is not me.

Stud: she dey whyne us. See her gown.

Now, what made them stop, was the dress and the makeup. My dress was well above my knees and the back was low. But I was wearing a long weave which I packed. So the weave covered my exposed back. My make up was amazing too. They didn’t think I was a Jesus baby. I didn’t look like a “Christian” to them. This made me feel bad because they’re certainly not the only ones that expect Christian girls to look like they were pulled out of an 18th century horror movie.

Heyyyyy, I love God and I drip. All to the glory of my father. Amen? Amen.

They said I was whyning them. I told stud I like his piercings and that surprised them (again). A Jesus baby shouldn’t like piercings. Leemao.

Aside: we keep talking about how cheap some girls are but we never mention that all it takes to make most men swoon is a little black dress and nice make up? Men were literally hailing me everywhere I passed that night. Don’t you ever doubt that men are moved by what they see. End of Aside.

Did I mention that I’ve taken up content marketing? I’m particularly interested in small brands and businesses. Now, I’m looking to go into media full-time. I’m considering digital marketing/PR plus full blown content creation. I still have some homework to do though. The Holy Spirit has been ringing it in my ears to stop hiding. To meet and interact with people. To build relationships and basically just live outside my head. And come, 2022, I’m gonna let him help me do this.

I don’t have any special resolutions for next year, I just want to love God, make money, grow, eat good food, see new places, meet new people and impact lives. I really just want to live.

By the way, I took putting myself out there a step further by turning on my WhatsApp read receipts. It’s been off for years. I felt naked at first, like my clothes were yanked off my body but I’m used to it now. It’s not that bad.

I’d end this post with 22 things you should do in 2022

1. Have faith in God and put him first.

2. Spend quality time with your family and friends.

3. Go out. Meet and interact with new people.

4. Spend time with nature.

5. Practice gastronomy

6. Drink chi-exotic

7. Kiss your nose in the mirror

8. Buy food for someone.

9. Get your Covid-19 vaccine

10. Write a love letter to someone you love.

11. Send random thank you emails to the people that always show up for you.

12. Guy, live.

13. Treat yourself to a full body massage, manicure, pedicure, the whole damn thing.

14. Change your phone pouch.

15. Try out new music.

16. Read books.

17. Give. Give your time. Give your smile. Give your love. Give your money. Give to family, friends and strangers.

18. Keep a gratitude/growth journal.

19. Rearrange your room. Repaint it if you can.

20. Read every single one of my blogposts.

21. Shoot your shot.

22. Shine darling, shine.

You’ve now come to the end of this super long post. Thanks for sticking with me and for always reading my posts. I love you and your cute nose. You did amazing in 2021 and I’m proud of you. I believe in your wonder. I believe in your light and I know that 2022 is going to be a fabulous year for you. Cheers my darling. Cheers to us and cheers to sweet baby Jesus. Don’t you ever forget that I’m always here, rooting for you like no man’s business. Let nothing stop you from having a jolly Christmas and a beautiful 2022. Enjoyyyyyyyy.