I’m so sorry I’ve not been posting here as often as I used to. This apology is weird because I write here mostly for myself. So I’m practically apologizing to myself and that’s fine. (It’s fine Adejumobi, I forgive you.)

Today’s post is more of an update. A summary of it would be: Hello ladies and gentlemen, Adejumobi has graduated from “Jesus, take some parts of my life” to “Jesus, take all that I am and all that I have” which is nothing in the actual sense. I mean without Jesus in the first place, I am nothing and I have nothing. In simple English, I am because he is.

There’s this test adults run on children to determine the generous ones and the selfish ones. They give a piece of candy to whichever child they’re running the test on and of course, the child accepts the free gift with excitement. However, when the child is enjoying the candy, they stretch out their hand and say: give me.

I’ve seen adults run this test so many times that I can explain over a dozen responses including running away, looking away, continuously raising one shoulder and what not. However we can classify these responses under three categories:

The children that give: some of these ones give immediately. They don’t even think about it twice, they give all of it to the adults eagerly and happily. Others think more than twice about it, they ask questions, they weigh their options, they calculate how often they get gifts from the adult but at the end of the day, they give just as eagerly and as happily as those who gave immediately.

The children that don’t give: these ones do not send your daddy. They ignore the adult and enjoy the candy. These children seem to lack shame too because when they see the adult with other gifts, they forget how they enjoyed their candy alone and expect even more gifts.

The half hearted givers: these ones give the adult but they don’t really give them. Sometimes, they give the adult immediately then they change their minds and take it back. Sometimes they take a while before giving the adult and just when the adult’s about to eat it, they take it back. They’re never stable. They want to be on the adult’s good side so they can get more gifts but they also want to enjoy the candy alone.

Tell me you didn’t classify yourself while you were reading the classifications. In this example, Jesus is the adult and we’re the children. The life we have isn’t even our own. Jesus died to give us life for free. I’m not even talking about unbelievers now. I’m talking about us “God’s babies”. We don’t want to carry Jesus on our head too much. We want to be cool believers but Jesus didn’t die for us to just be cool. He died for us to live and we can’t live if he’s not at the centre of our lives because he is the life. He is not just life. He is the life.

Apparently, we’re more concerned about our plans, reputation, stacking up money, chopping life e.t.c. These things aren’t even bad in themselves. They’re bad because we’re not doing them in God. They’re bad because we’re not doing them to the glory of God. They’re bad because we’re not doing them according to the will of God.

Nobody:

Our brain: me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Myself. Me. Myself. I. Me. Myself.

I pray Ephesians 17 – 18. No I’m not typing it out. Check your Bible.

This past week literally summed up my whole life. It was eye opening and awesome. I got clarity and answers. For the first time in forever, I can say I’m not struggling. I don’t feel like I’m drowning. I’m at peace. I can see that I have a lot to learn and do but I’m not overwhelmed. Lol. The Lord is my stay.

I drew a priority list and guess what’s number one? God. Yeah. If you’re close to me, you’d know I’m a God girl but sometimes I push him to the side. I’ve gone through all three classifications at different phases of my life and now, I’m here, giving and eager to give until there’s nothing else to give.

I have gotten to the point where I can no longer push Jesus to the side. It’s quite too late for that. I belong to him now. I’m sorry if you notice some changes in me (I’m not sorry but I’m sorry seemed like the best way to start the sentence), it is to be expected. It’s impossible to see Jesus and remain the same. Lol. Something has to break and some things have to go. It’s a new wine in a new wine skin kind of stuff.

The goal is to get to that place where my love for God touches people enough for them to dash Jesus their lives. Lol. We will be many. That place where people look at me and the light of God washes over their souls so much that they break into a confession of undying love for Yahweh. Lol.

You’ll know when the spirit of a man is truly one with the spirit of God, they glow. You’re drawn to them. That’s where I’m going. I’d be so immersed in the life of God that my smile will become a tool of evangelism. I’d smile and intense hunger and thirst for God becomes activated in people. Lol. Lol. Lol. Innumerable Lol.

See, we will be many. I won’t persuade people to give their lives to Jesus. Far be it from me to beg people to give Jesus room in their lives. My Bible says these signs shall follow them that believe. I say these signs shall follow them that believe (inserts Mark 16 vs 17-18) and they that do not believe shall believe. (How can you see my Jesus and not believe? “Imposibuuuuu”.)

We will actually be many. So Paul went from killing Christians to becoming a Chief Executive Christian. What changed? Ha. He saw Jesus. He didn’t need convincing or cajoling. He already saw. Lol. We will be many because people will see me and they will see Jesus. Far be it from me to cajole men into believing the lover of my soul. Lol. We will be many because we will see.

Thomas didn’t believe that Jesus resurrected but when he saw, what did he say? My Lord, My God. Lol. We will see and we will be many.

I’ve always been intentional about God. Maybe not as intentional as I am now but even my parents do not exactly understand my faith, it’s quite different from the one everyone else in the family express. They can’t but acknowledge and even encourage it. My sister has always feared that I’d get to a point where I’d be a Jesus merchant. Lol. Even friends mention it, you seem “quite spiritual” Lol.

Over the years, I’ve made efforts to tone down this yearning for a super close relationship with God. I always say nobody preached Christ to me and that’s the truth, there’s just always been that God is mine and I am his thing inside me. And knowing the kind of person I am and how crazy I can be about things I love, I try to measure my love for God. I say things like “don’t carry Jesus on your head too much” “try to find a balance”

There’s no balance ngwanu. (Jesus no gree stay for my hand, I don put am back for my head.) All I do now, I do in Christ. (Make balance dey, make me sef dey.) Just like my sister feared, I have moved from being a “when I need help” Christian to a “just give me Jesus, the world will be fine” Christian. And just like my parents noticed, I am indeed God’s beloved and God’s own. I’m no longer trying to be who I’m not. I have accepted who I am. A shameless fan of Jesus. (Na me be that.) Just leave me with my Jesus. (Like Dunsin Oyekan said “Leave me at the altar with my father.”) And of course, there’s space for you.

I’m going to end whatever this is with a wish even though it’s not your birthday. It’s a simple wish. I wish you everything God has in store for you. Cheersssssss.

P.S: Lol = sometimes laughter plus a shout. Sometimes a smile. Sometimes a shout.