I know I said sweet baby Jesus was my last post for the year but here I am again.

We say “there’s nothing God can not do”. We make reference to the powerful things God did in the Bible (and even the lives of others). But we don’t really believe those things can happen to us. We don’t believe. We don’t. We just say it. We even pray it. But our prayers are full of hope and not faith. Maybe God will. Maybe he won’t. Let me just try. That’s how we pray. Sometimes what we’re saying with our prayer is “God, I don’t want to disturb you but if you give me, I’ll collect.” But God has already given us everything and so much more. We have everything in Jesus’s name.

We don’t even prioritize prayer. We use prayer as our last resort and more often than not, there’s a plan B somewhere in our minds. Just in case God doesn’t hear. Is our God a deaf God?

I woke up yesterday craving a house. Yeah, it’s weird but it makes a lot of sense. I’ve always felt homeless. I’ve never really felt like I had my own space. I’m talking about a physical space. My house; a place I can pour myself into. Somewhere people would see and say, oh! This is Adejumobi’s space. I’ve never been able to personalize every room I’ve occupied due to various factors. So, I woke up yesterday and what was on my mind wasn’t a new phone or a laptop (which I really need). I woke up craving a house.

I’ve always dreamed about buying a big house but it’s never been for myself. There’s a house I see my family living in, in my head. So whenever I think about a house, my mind goes to that house. Following the “I want it, I got it” way, I have decided to buy myself a house. A house without wall geckos (very important). For my 22 and jobless snoot, this is a big dream. How do I plan to achieve it? Let me tell you a little story.

Before I joined my family at my sister’s place in Ibadan, I prayed. While praying, the Holy Spirit said one of them was going to have an health issue. Nothing serious. I was just supposed to pray for that person and all will be well. It was supposed to be a “for the glory of God” situation. Hence, my prayer wasn’t supposed to be done privately.

I got there and saw that my niece had a cough. I thought surely, this is it so I prayed for her. I prayed for her privately but the cough stopped. I got a second chance to not pray privately but I blew it again.

So my niece is a big baby but she doesn’t eat and she’d gotten worse this past week. She wasn’t eating at all. I wasn’t bothered because I knew she was fine and she’ll be fine. But my sister was worried sick (frustrated even). She was devouring information on Google and suggesting different things that might be wrong with her baby. She even bought multivitamins but Modupe wasn’t taking anything except water. My mum kept saying she’s never seen a child like her.

And I was there, smiling at what a wonder my niece is. Totally insensitive to my sister’s concerns. I did nothing. I mean yes, I’d spoken to the Holy Spirit about Modupe and I’d prayed for her. But I wasn’t obeying. Just when I thought I’d seen it all, my mum and sister called me. They said they wanted to speak to an astrologer concerning my niece’s matter and I looked at them like they’d sprouted horns. Astro whattt? When I serve a living God? So you want to leave the Holy Spirit to go and be reading stars? Have you even prayed about this? Ahhhhh. Such disrespect.

While I was rubbishing the idea, my mum asked me a question. She said “since this has been happening, have you prayed about it?” I did a double take. Have I prayed? Shot fired. Nice one Holy Spirit. My unbelief became a bird and began to circle above my head.

Two quick facts: prayer without results is not prayer. Prayer outside the will of God is not prayer. So while I may have actually prayed for my niece and about the situation. Technically, I hadn’t prayed because there was no result and I was praying outside the will of God by not obeying God.

It’s hard to admit but I’m not being vocal about my efforts because my faith is watery. Instead of believing and obeying. My heart was full of questions like “how is it going to happen?” “What if it doesn’t happen?” My heart was brimming with doubts.

When Jesus calmed the storm, he wasn’t bothered but his disciples were in panic mode. He exercised his power by calming the storm to reassure them and build their faith. Our God is a God is reassurance and power. But we, we’d rather analyse miracles than perform them. We’re exercising reasonable faith like the synonym of faith is not madness (or how do you explain Jesus’s death?). We’re so used to talking that we don’t know how to let God’s power speak for us. Oyinbo ti poju.

We’re scams. We want to sweet talk people into believing in God. We even use the scriptures to back up our faithlessness. The way we blame everything on the will of God is shameful. We’re not seeing most things we pray for because we don’t believe they can happen. We don’t even understand the power of God’s word. Instead of asking God to help us, we go about saying it’s the will of God. Is it really?

People want to see results. Yes, they don’t have to see to believe but seeing strengthens that belief.

After my mum asked if I’d prayed, I went to God. Admitted that I’d been faithless and asked for him to help me. Then I prayed for niece. Beloved brothers and sisters, the big head ate last night. It wasn’t a coincidence that I saw a video of Apostle Johnson Suleman healing a boy with sealed mouth before I began to pray. It also wasn’t a coincidence that when I got to my playlist and pressed shuffle, the song that came on was Victoria Orenze’s na so so wonder.

I thought the battle was over but alas! It wasn’t. My nephew had developed malaria overnight. Yet another opportunity to pray. I did pray for him but it was more of a God help me believe prayer. Help me trust you. Give me the boldness to exercise your power and testify of your love every and anywhere.

I’m learning that faith is an action word. It’s a lifestyle; a lifestyle of believing in all that js obtainable in Christ. Faith is knowing that sometimes, not seeing what I prayed for is an answer to my prayer. Faith is saying “I know I didn’t get the nine things I prayed for but I believe I’d get this one.” Faith is believing regardles. Either God does it or not. Faith is believing anyway. Faith is saying “it doesn’t look like it and I don’t know how you want to do it but I trust you.” Faith is come what may, we die here. Faith is, “if I leave you, to whom will I go?”

So, back to my house craving and how I plan to satisfy it? Just like my phone, laptop and other needs, God go run am. Psalms 34 vs 10 is the proof I have.

Cheers to living the faith life.

Cheers to 2022; our year of outstanding results and great exploits.

Cheers to provision, sustenance and so much more.

Verses to meditate on:

Romans 8 vs 28

2nd Timothy 1 vs 7

Daniel 11 vs 32