Every now and then, I think about Zino and what she used to mean to me. Her kitchen was a safe space for me. I’d sit there and watch everything she did with rapt attention to take my mind off the storm that was usually brewing at home. She’d wash dishes like she was bathing babies, like she cared about them. (Not me. I do the dishes with grumbling.) I’d watch her cook and clean and do everything so gracefully. Sometimes I’d talk but most times I’d just watch because I didn’t want to waste the peace and quiet her kitchen offered.

I like to believe her presence in my life was strategic because she was like the tiny thread I was holding onto then. Something to look forward to; her gists, her food, her unsolicited advice and barbaric laughter. These things kept me sane. Although there were times I found her immensely annoying. (I’m not even joking.)

I don’t know if she knows how much her friendship meant to me then. Either she knows or not, I’d tell her still. For four years or thereabouts, she gave me what I couldn’t get at home, a relationship that isn’t toxic. I would say she gave me a listening ear but I didn’t talk much and she talked a lot. She literally talked for two.

I talk more now because I’ve mastered the art of talking a lot but not saying much. Now, I’m learning to unmaster the art because expression is key. What I wanted then was a place away from all the madness and her home (her kitchen to be precise) was that place.

My Dad didn’t like her at first. Lol. Zino was that “bad friend” your parents warn you about. It didn’t help that she wasn’t pretending to be responsible. She actually didn’t send my daddy. Now, she’s someone every member of my family loves. She warmed her way into their hearts. (Bloody seductress.) Just last year, my daddy said he’d choose her over me because she’s better with house chores.

I wouldn’t say she pulled me out of my shell because while we were best friends, I remained withdrawn and unsociable. I think she rather enjoyed being the center of attention so my introversion wasn’t a problem to her. However, she was instrumental to me leaving the shell behind. All the years of watching her actually live encouraged me to do the same. People always wondered how we became friends because at the time we were polar opposites. (Lol. How I’ve grown.)

I’d go to her house before running my mum’s errands. My mum would give me an attitude for returning late but I’d unapologetically do it again. I’d pack my clothes to her house in the name of co-washing knowing full well that I wouldn’t wash a thing. The most I’d do is hang them out to dry.

I’d go to her house to eat. Whenever I was angry with them at home (which was literally all the time) I’d refuse to eat. Before Zino, I used to starve but when she came into the picture, her house became my restaurant. She was my best friend in every sense of the word. I remember her advices too. Zino the counselor. Lol. (She’s studying guidance and counseling at Delsu by the way.)

When she left for school, it’s like all the love I had for her evaporated. It was like she never existed. I think I was hurt but I didn’t know what to do with the hurt so I just ignored both the hurt and the source of the hurt. We’re not as close as we used to be. I haven’t seen her in about two years. We talk once in a while but what we have now is definitely not what we used to have. I think this is okay too.

Although she’s still the ray of sunshine she is, I can tell from our latest interactions that the burdens she’d always been a master at pushing aside are now desperate for her attention. I can also tell that the recent happenings in her life are not making these burdens easy to deal with. So I want to leave a short message for her here:

Ewomazino Aghoghobe Elizabeth Oghenereke Favor Zedd. (Favor is the name she hates and Zedd is my nickname for her.) Baby girl, things don’t run you, you run things. You’re a strong woman and victory is yours in every area of your life. You’re annoying but I wish you all the love and joy and peace life has to offer ‘cause baby, you “deesav” it. Best friend or no best friend, your place in my heart will be yours till infinity. God has you in the palm of his hand baby, trust him.

And if you ever feel sad and alone, remember that there’s a brown haired girl somewhere that loves you and is always rooting for you. The brown haired girl is me. (The most amazing person in your life.) Go girl!!! Get it!!!!

P.S: dash me clothes and stop bothering me with calls.