These past few days have taught me that as much as I love to be alone, it’s not good for me to be alone for long. Maybe I’m a menace to myself.

I can’t remember when I started seeing Peaky Blinders but I’m in season four now. I also can’t get the movie out of my head. Thomas Shelby now lives rent free in my head. I think the plot as well as the characterization is profound, almost like it has a soul. (Maybe movie people call it story line and casting.)

Talmbout Arthur, the lachrymose and hypersensitive one with a fiery temper. The one who seemed like an hopeless cause until he met Linda. He falls under the category of people who never accept their troubles. Instead of learning to control and use them, they hope, yearn and search (either passively or actively) for freedom from them. What can I say about Ada? Not much. I like the whole family thing the Peaky Blinders had going on for them though. Some united we stand, divided we fall stuff.

Then there’s Aunt Pol, the sanctimonious one who thinks she’s somehow better than Thomas. She falls under the category of people in denial. The ones who practice selective acceptance. They accept the part of themselves that pleases them and shut out the rest. Whatever happened to her painter by the way? I don’t have much to say about John. I think he’s a less troubled version of Arthur. A hopeless romantic too. I wish he didn’t die. I wish Danny Whizzbang didn’t die too. I liked his face.

I definitely can’t forget Thomas Shelby, the boss and the family’s lifeline. He falls under the category of people who have accepted their troubles. They don’t try to fight them at least not actively. They’ve accepted them and learned to use them masterfully. They’ve gotten a considerable amount of control over them.

Yes, Thomas Shelby can be quite overboard. He also doesn’t know when to stop. Is it necessary to mention his cunningness? It’s such an inherent part of him. Despite all these, I think his smartness as far as Peaky Blinders is concerned is unrivaled. (Maybe Michael Gray can give him a run for his money but Tommy will always be Tommy; with plans and solutions)

We can garner from the movie that there’s no freedom anywhere. That when I have this, I’d stop. When I have this, I’d be happy is a sham. Our hearts will always want something. They say when you’re the master of your mind, you’re the master of your life. Your mind controls your desires, thoughts, actions, inactions. Therefore mastering it means mastering all these and more. (This doesn’t guarantee freedom still.)

As a matter of fact, I don’t think Thomas deserves all the hate he gets from his family. Maybe I’m saying this because I’m not in their situation and I don’t know what it’s really like. But to me, it’s like they crucify him for something they all benefit from. Don’t say he leaves them no choice. When they were all ready to walk away, they did. There’s always a choice.

I also keep thinking about how Thomas locks his pain inside himself. Only allowing himself to feel on rare ocassions. I see how he channels all his pain and anger about how unfair life is towards a single goal. No wonder he can’t be stopped. Michael Gray is like him in more ways than one.

I particularly love Curly. The big man working in Charlie’s yard. The one with proclamations of bad luck and affection for animals. I like how he walks, runs and talks. Like somehow in the midst of all that madness and brutishness, he’s still Curly. What he’s seen or maybe done hasn’t changed him. I liked seeing the joy on his face when Thomas joined him in packing horse dung. Did you notice how he told May the mafia was going to kill all of them like it was nothing?

I was reading about two kinds of Capricorn because I used to be big on zodiac signs. I read that there are mountain goats and garden goats. Curly’s a garden goat. Aberama Gold is a mountain goat.

I liked Grace before she left for New York. As at the time she came back, she wasn’t what I wanted for Thomas anymore. I wanted May, the horse trainer. I liked seeing Finn amongst the men when he was still very small. I don’t really like Esme. Lol. She speaks to Thomas like she’s trying to enchant him. Linda is almost like her. I’m proud of Lizzie but I wish she had more balls. Enough balls to not be Thomas’s plaything.

Alfie Solomons is also an interesting character. Did I mention that Arthur is quite gullible? (I don’t want to use stupid) Well, he is. Alfie talks a lot. I kept laughing at the story he told Arthur and Billy Kitchen (RIP Billy. I liked you.) That part where Thomas told him he doesn’t care about dying because he’s already dead. Uhm.

Dead and existing people do either of two things: 1. They fixate on one goal and pursue it with every fibre of their being because what do they have to lose? 2. They take a backseat and choose not to actively participate in life because what’s the point? There just might be more dead people alive than there are in the grave.

Inspector Campbell was an annoying character. I hated his stupid voice and face and walking cane. The priest was annoying too with his stupid obsession with getting an office in Thomas’s orphanage home. By the way, Thomas’s eyes are so clear then there’s his rasp voice too.

There’s the part where Thomas admitted to being scared to Grace. Then he said I can be scared and go on anyway. Uhm. He talked about believing in gender equality for women. Lip service.

Fixated people are overthinkers. It’s hard to suggest what they haven’t thought about. So at the end of the day, it’s always their way or the highway. I find myself wanting to know what happened to Mary; Thomas’s maid. Why Frances in the next season and not Mary?

Oh. I remember where Solomons said he heard that Arthur had allowed Jesus into his life and the latter fuming with rage said he was Old Testament. I laughed. Solomons has a thing for speeches. There’s also that little one he gave Thomas about living and dying by the sword. Fair point. When we do it to others, we say the end justifies the means. When it’s done to us, we say it’s crossing the line.